parenting Tag

[caption id="attachment_1973" align="alignleft" width="750"]ypulsepanel From Left: Lenore Skenazy, Dan Coates, Neil Howe, Mary-Leigh Bliss and Jake Katz[/caption] Last week I had the opportunity to attend a conference about the generation after the millennials. This entailed the latest stats and survey results from this youngest group of Americans on and an effort to (re)name the youngest generation - the one that is currently called the Homelanders. This event was part of the annual YPulste Mashup and located in New York.

While brooding over an article on the topic of internet sharing and privacy, an example of what some prefer to call “tough love parenting” passed my radar:Mother Violates Daughter on Facebook. I have argued before (here and here) that despite the impressions we may get from media, younger generations are not all happy-go-lucky with technologies that enable intrusion of privacy and permanent digital humiliation. After all, Bradley Manning and Edward Snowden are both Millennials. And they are all changing the discourse on transparency, sharing and privacy, and how this all should be handled. And the kids are watching.

2280592833_9d8943037dSorry Kitty is lead singer of the K-pop band Saccharine. Her nickname is a blend of Super Junior's 2009 hit Sorry, Sorry and the still popular cartoon Hello Kitty, and influenced by the post-ironic cat-meme era she was born into. She earned it for her allegedly sad expression as a child, but later made it her legal name as a provocative statement of Asian pride. While Korean women in the entertainment industry undergo canthoplasties and other plastic surgeries to look “less Asian”, Sorry embraces her Asian features and is unknowingly signaling a new trend that will unfold after her career takes off in 2030. Sorry grows up as an only child of a Korean PR professional / Tigermother and a British DJ / sound engineer who moved to Korea to work as an English teacher when the job market dried up in Europe.

This article was first published 3/28/2013 by NewSavvyProduction. fb mirror pic "Hey guys. I just wanted to ask - just a random question. Uhmm. Am I -  like - ugly or pretty?" -  You don't have to dig deep into online archives to find a whole pageantry of kids as young as 10 years old unloading their most personal angst for complete strangers to comment on. And the more insecure they appear, the more likely they seem to attract trolls whose dubious netiquette allows them to filter through comments of this type: "DONT WANT TO SOUND MEAN BUT URE A F***ING DOG." (censoring added). In other words, the ones who most desperately need reassurance from their faceless peers are the ones who are the most likely get bulldozed by the 'Haters'. And rarely do any respondents care to unmask the more existential questions that simmer immediately underneath the Snow White narrative: “Am I likeable? Am I loveable?”

[caption id="" align="alignright" width="294"]Boys playing drum Dancing to the beat of their own drums?[/caption] A whole generation of single children have come of age, revealing some interesting sociopsychological observations. Although China's one-child policy implemented in 1979 has helped curb population growth, their aspiring leaders and innovators are showing some undesirable tendencies that are not as prominent among children with siblings. Only a quarter of Chinese families had single children in 1975 compared with 91 % in 1983. So by comparing children born right before and right after the one-child policy took effect, researchers from Australia National University were able to keep other cohort-dependent variables fairly constant. What they found is that the single children tend to have lower social skills and weaker economic attainment than their slightly older peers with siblings. The now grown up participants were tested playing various strategic games: dictator, trust, risk and competition and with follow up surveys. Those who were born after the policies took effect indicated by the results that they were less cooperative, less trusting, more risk aversive and less competitive than the ones who were born before the policy. The researchers were even able to document that the sibling-deprived participants more frequently demonstrated signs of neuroticism. Social interaction with  peers and extended family could not mitigate the sibling effect. The full study was published in Science this last January.

Do As I Say, Not As I Do? Pew Research is one of my main, probably the main go-to source for generational statistics. But for once I am a little disappointed. The culprit is their recent study "Parents Concerned About Teens' Online Activities and Privacy." The title captures it all. By focusing only on young people's own activities they get only a partial picture of all that threaten the privacy of minors today, which in turn distorts the narrative of the online privacy debate.

Money Hand“How do I love (bankrupt) thee? Let me count the ways.” This election year it’s hard not to take note of all the various ways in which the next generation is screwed. Younger cohorts will struggle with student loans, possibly endure continued high unemployment rates, foot most of the bill from the national deficit and suffer the effects of a national economy that has paid out more than it has taken in over a long time. The Z’ers, or Homelanders, see their grown up sisters and brothers test their wingspan only to return back to the safety of parental den when things go wrong. They are advised that an expensive college degree is the only means to a comfortable future, yet that there are no guarantees for anything anymore. One would think in a time when individuals feel the effects of a troubled economy family bonds grow stronger. And they do. Many parents gladly open up their homes to boomeranging grown children and quarterback them each time they test their employment muscles in the slow job market. But what the long-term financial security? If the younger generations are going to be held back for decades by the locked doors they meet now won’t family assets once again gain importance as a source of income? If neither a college degree nor a mortgage seems like a good investment you should at least be able to look forward to your fair share of the family estate. Right?

how children succeedIf you're a parent like me you regularly crash into sleep in one of your children's' beds after putting them to bed around dusk. Then you wake up a few hours later and drag your sleep drunk self into your own bed where the night trolls start spinning your head with worries that have built up earlier in the day. There are the bills you didn't pay, the email you sent your boss that just didn't come out the way it should, the pile of unfolded laundry that keeps growing. And then there's THAT thought, the very reason why you collapsed under the feathery weight of a little chapter book about unicorns or whatever. The only part you remember from your reading session is that your child was struggling so hard keeping her eyes open and comprehending the little words that just seemed to float all over the page. So despite having forced yourself to fiercely focus on a fantasy-equestrian pastel colored world just so that you could quiz your daughter about the contents of the book, you both got more caught up into a mundane mess of pronunciation challenges and counting page numbers than deciphering any meaning at all. And just when you opened your mouth to give your daughter a tired lecture about how important improving her reading skills will be for the upcoming state mandated test, you remembered that your little girl has already spent 7 hours of the day in school cramming facts and another hour or so doing homework in between the hustle and bustle of activities after school. So you remind yourself that tomorrow is another day to visit libraries and  bookstores, and another chance to pick kid-friendly books off the shelves that might - just might - captivate her interest and eventually enable her future academic success.

[caption id="attachment_915" align="alignleft" width="262" caption="Source: Public Domain Images"][/caption] When I asked my 8-year old daughter the other day what she wants to be when she grows up she gave me a metacognitive answer I did not expect from somebody her age. "Mom, you know how children my age often dream of becoming popstars, but they know that it's probably never going to happen? Well, I'm one of those children who have those dreams. So in my dream I will become a popstar, but in the "real world" I'm going to be an engineer and find ways to get more clean fresh water for the world. Maybe by taking the salt out of the seawater". Of course at age 8 few people really know what they want to do with their lives. I probably changed my mind at least thirty times growing up, and so do children today. Yet I feel that the signals they pick up from their environment today will have an impact on their future choosing. My own children and many of their friends have been learning about water conservation and the perils facing the global climate pretty much from they learned how to talk. Today teaching children about environmental protection in preschool and elementary school seems as important as teaching them basic manners and academic pre-skills. And that is not even mentioning the lessons you learn from the increasingly severe summer droughts in central Texas! Yet if current trends continue by the time this generation reach college, the best and brightest minds might very well be sucked up by Wall Street firms and big

Children who grow up in the typical fourth turning crisis era are extremely over-parented. The New Silent/ Homeland generation is no exception. I think there are various reasons for this trend and they are often driven by fear of the future. Parenting has become a market place for many conflicting theories and they all thrive on fear and insecurity. If parenting philosophies are our currencies, our children are the investment objects. And when it comes to our own flesh and blood, there is no such thing as second best. In the early 2000s the attachment-parenting trend accompanied by the theories of Dr. Sears started to make encroachment into the American middle class. The philosophy of attachment parenting is based on attachment theory in psychology. Since infants become attached to adults who are sensitive and responsive in social interactions with them, a close relationship with parents, mostly the mother, has to be fostered to optimize the child’s socio-emotional development. This includes extended breastfeeding, co-sleeping and positive, non-confrontational forms

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